A Glimpse of the Unexpected Disappearance

I need to stop saying we're back, because it seems we're never really back. I would have been - honest - but things got complicated for me.

Two months ago, I found out my mother likely had a form of terminal cancer. It was very emotional - I'm really close to my mother - but she lives across the country and that makes visiting (with a family of five kids on one income) a little more difficult - in other words, it means a lot more planning.

The last two months have been hard on everyone in our family - and likely many of my friends. I've been a mess.

My mother had surgery - the cyst was cancerous - but it was completely removed with strong, clear margins - which means they got it all - the very best we could have hoped for given the type of cancer and the statistics. This means she's as in the clear as one can get in such a situation and will have scans every six months, but she is far from her death bed (THANK YOU, LORD). It's just a matter of healing now!

But the surgery was hard - all surgeries are hard on the body, but this has really taken it's toll.

And my emotions haven't settled.

A decision was reached and all parties involved were in agreement with the proposed idea. So, Jacob and I will fly out and spend some time with my mother. She's doing well - but she's tired and needs rest so she can heal completely. We've not visited in a long time and so it will be nice to visit together, but mostly I'm looking forward to helping out where I can around the house so she can get all the rest possible before she's cleared to return to work. And then, if the clearance comes at the predicted time, I'll be there to help with the transition.

I know it will be a help for them, but I also know this will be exactly what I need too. I need to be able to help in a meaningful way - and I need to see my mom.

My family is not out of the woods yet, as we're still awaiting a recovery from one surgery, planning another and then recovery from that as well was pathology for my father.

This holiday season has been a real emotional upheaval for me. I'm ready to get me back - and I feel I'm already on my way. (I'm sure my family is ready to have a normal mommy again too). It feels good to be able to do something.