It's Working!

For a long time now (a very, very, very, very, very, very.....long time) I've been trying to figure out what to do to "keep" my house "reasonably" clean... or rather, tidy. Clean is relative.. "tidy" makes me think "lived-in in a nice way". Okay... anyway... tidy comes and goes around here.....and most of the time (especially over the last two months) tidy has not shown up at all... instead... war zone!

We've had far too many "ouches" from stepping on, stumbling over, stubbing toes on, etc, etc all the "toys". We've had way to many "landing piles" for laundry... which just get kicked and dragged around the house... and too little energy to fight the always mounting pile of dishes while kids seem to scream and beat on one another (timing is everything)!

Beyond my breaking point, I had a wonderful conversation with my dear friend Heather... and she shared with me something she and her husband do with her daughter... something that finally said (in my head) "yes.... yes... that just might work!" ------AND IT WORKS!--------

Children have to learn responsibility... there are many kinds of responsibilities and many ways to do this... but learning exactly what it means to be responsible for our things - well, let's just say that kids don't seem to grasp that nearly fast enough. So... this is what we're doing..........

The children are (for now) only responsible for their toys. I spoke with them to explain, once again, what it meant to be responsible for something. (Simply put...for the benefit of my two year old.... taking care of, being nice to, and keeping it safe) --as time goes on, we'll be adding other responsibilities...such as clothes and shoes---

Now for the "fun" part.... they receive one (1) (yes, only 1) reminder towards the end of the day that they are responsible for their toys. They now get to choose (I love this part, because it's empowering them) whether or not to pick them up and put them away nicely. When they go to bed, I walk through the house (right now it's just the downstairs... since I'm trying to get us caught up from the 'war zone' while easing into this) to collect any 'stray' toys that have been left behind. These toys will go to the "unwanted / unneeded box" (which I'd love to rename something more creative... when my creative mind is not so over-loaded). These items are now "mine"....and I can choose to let them earn the items back by doing something helpful, not hard on them, which is not a "normal" chore or responsibility for them. (I've figured this is a great way to start weeding things out too...because if they don't coming asking where it is, I know they don't really need to have it around)

I found this "liberating" for me. I had not realized how much I was "binding" myself to the mess of my children and letting it over-whelm me to the point of not getting anything accomplished. I stopped worrying about the toys, and started in on other things... accomplishing 6 loads of laundry, 2 rounds of dishwasher dishes, sweeping floors, collecting dirty laundry, and cleaning out half of the "spare room" (aka the catch all place) all in the space of one day!

I thought for sure I'd be collecting a large box full of toys that first night. Nope! After listening to the kids agree to this... then seeing that their choices to not clean up had wasted much of their time, listening to the complaining and the "that's not fair" and the freaking out and yelling at each other....they suddenly pulled it together, right after dinner... before bedtime... and got all the toys... ALL THE TOYS... No, really, ALL the toys put away!

And each night since, they have cleaned up all their toys. They've even begun to put some toys away when they first finish playing with them (something we've been trying to get them to do forever without any luck). They don't complain.. they just do it!

My nerves are back on track... when chaos hits... 'cause it still does...I'm actually able to cope instead of losing my mind! Life is surely looking up!

More than that... I must say a great THANK YOU, HEATHER for being the instrument to answering prayers! The Lord is truly mindful. He helps us through others... and this is a wonderful example of that.....

Now... if I could just get the kids to learn patience.....

True Thanksgiving

Peter got up from a rather short nap today and was a little hungry. I put him at the table where Beth and Jeremy had left him a pile of fish crackers and told him he could have a snack. I then turned starting back toward the sink with the dirty dishes from earlier.

At this point Peter started fussing. I didn't know what the problem was and started to ask as I turned and began coming back. As soon as I turned around, Peter folded his arms and started to "babble" his own blessing on the food.

It was very sweet. I love seeing good habits (and a love for prayer) develop in my children... especially when they are so young. (Though I had to smile because we don't normally have a blessing specifically for snacks.. usually just for meals.)

Lessons From The Toilet?

Jeremy goes potty all by himself. He's done this for quite some time. In fact, his biggest hang up was having someone stay in the bathroom with him... not because he needed or wanted help, just to have someone there.

So just before dinner yesterday, I walked into the bathroom... or rather I tried to. The floor was really wet. That seemed rather strange to me. Then I noticed the dirty laundry that hadn't quite landed in the hamper (and thus was on the floor) was drenched! Yikes! So I start asking questions, trying to figure out just what happened.

The first suggestion "Peter did it" That seemed somewhat logical since the gate wasn't locked. But....there was way too much water and no "cup" around.

Still trying to figure it out... and no one seeming to know just what had happened. I look at the toilet....there is some "left over" toilet paper in the bottom. But the water level appears normal and sometimes the paper doesn't all make it down the first flush (I believe it has something to do with the toilet design). So, without thinking, I reach over and flush the toilet.

Just as I do that I recall Jeremy telling me the last time he came out that he'd used "lots of toilet paper" that time. Too late! The water comes spilling over as I holler to the kids to bring me towels from the laundry (it would figure that ALL the towels would be dirty and not available).

So, my children learned what makes water come pouring out of the toilet... and why it's so important not to use too much toilet paper!

Planting, Projects, and Toys

Once again the planting resumed. Actually, Bob had gotten some corn in last week as well. Yesterday the kids got out to help with more corn, onions, peas, beans, cucumbers, carrots, zucchini, summer squash, broccoli, and beets (I'm not sure if they put in cauliflower or not). I actually got to help with the onions! We'll be doing another planting of corn, peas, and beans later on. We'll also be transplanting our tomato plants in a week or two. I'm not sure if Bob is going to do peppers, like last year.

Bob had to divide his time between the planting and the work needed on the apartment building. But, the weather assisted in that... so he spent the "dry" part of the day planting, and then headed into town to work at the apartment when it was raining.

He's been able to get a lot done. But in all the work he's doing right now and the end of the school year coming up, he doesn't have free time for anything right now. It will be nice to get it all done though... or to have him get it all done. And then, when summer really gets started, he'll be around. We love summer for that reason... although I'll admit it doesn't take much to fill the schedule. So the family is booked first this year... though we may find that's the only real time we get with everything else we need to get accomplished... things like gardening, splitting and stacking wood, putting in flooring (maybe) and a back splash and finishing up the kitchen cabinet doors and....and....and...and..... this list is never ending...

But, for now, we've got the bulk of the garden in! Fresh veggies are surely a delight!

(You'll notice that Peter was given the trucks to entertain himself with. And that he also found a toy gardening rake and momentarily decided to "garden" in the dirt beneath the swings. You'll also notice that, yes, we let the kids dress themselves. Their style sometimes lacking what we might consider going well together...colors, clothes inside-out and backwards...and so on. I'm sure this won't be the first time -or the last- that you'll notice it! Oh, the joys of empowerment!)

T-Ball

If they hold T-Ball outside again... and I happen to take the camera, you may well find more pictures on here. no guarantees since there are so many black flies... and the little ones seem to focus better inside. For now, here's a little of what it looks like for Beth and Jeremy.






They practice hitting the ball (and the other kids get to try to "catch" or rather "get" the ball). The practice "getting the ball" from an adult. They even got to "throw the ball against the wall and get it" to give them a chance to practice throwing as well. This seemed to be a favorite making most of the kids squeal, laugh, and go crazy. There are a couple of kids in the group who really have a good handle (considering age) on it all. It's fun to watch them.



So, enjoy some pictures. There are no games with this group; it's all about having fun and learning some skills.

Children's Discovery Museum

Okay... so I mentioned that I went on Gabi's field trip last week. It was a bit refreshing to get outside the normal Mom-at-Home mode and into the real world a little.... even if it was with a bunch of elementary schoolers!


The ride up was long... and thus long on the way back too. It almost seemed not worth the time we ended up with to explore... when you consider that the driving time (both ways) was about double that of the time spent there. Still, the kids had a lot of fun. As usual, I have way too many pictures, so I'll be sharing only a few with you.

We started with something they called "Creature Feature" where the children were told about, introduced to, and sometimes would watch and other times could touch different animals.
























In our "Creature Feature" we learned about the Indian Tiger, two types of Walking Sticks, Scorpions, Tarantulas, the Giant Sea Turtle, and a Tortoise. It was fascinating (even for me) and fun to watch the children shrink away from certain ones and get real close to others.

After that, the children had the opportunity to "play" in the various different areas which helped them learn about different things... like the human body, habitats, physics, light, sound, and, of course, much more.








I had taken Gabi when she was really young.. I believe it was before I had Beth. So she, obviously, didn't remember it. She loved it, didn't want to leave, and some day we'll have to plan a trip for our family when we can really spend the whole day there. It's certainly a great place for kids.




On the ride up, the kids were very excited to see two airplanes coming in for a landing. It was fascinating to watch their eyes light up as most had never seen an airplane that close before!

Crazy Week and Scrapbooking Supplies

Well, things have been busy...and I've been really tired. Libby goes home today...we'll meet up with Grami and then she'll go on home to Daddy. She is very excited... and I believe Mom and Dad have been missing her a lot too... it's the longest time they've all been apart.

Baby Zane could use lots of prayers. He started out in ICU because of too much fluid in his lungs. They were able to send him and Kayleen home in the middle of the week, but Zane has since lost more weight, become jaundice, and is very dehydrated despite regular feedings. He went back in the hospital yesterday and he appeared to be looking a little better by last night. Just pray that things continue to improve.

I went with Gabi on her field trip this week to the Discovery museum. It was a lot of fun and Gabi insists that it wasn't long enough... they were only there for 2 hours, so I must admit that I agree. I took lots of pictures but haven't had time to upload them and won't until after Libby leaves.

I also took pictures of Beth and Jeremy at T-Ball. The first two practices were outside, but the bugs are so bad right now (being black fly season and all) and the kids so little (some less than 3 years old) that it's been moved into the gym for right now. The kids seem to be more focused in there as well.

I'll see what I can do over this weekend to get pictures and little stories about them up.

Also, if anyone is interested in some discounted Creative Memories stuff, mostly papers and stickers and mostly from several years ago, feel free to contact me through my email (you can do this through the contact me part of my profile). I'd be happy to get a list of items to you (I'm currently compiling it). I was a consultant several years ago and have just never emptied my inventory.

Words For Today

Some fun saying from today:

After a round of chocolate pudding, Libby was nearly covered. Bethie was laughing about her chocolate mustashe. Jeremy joined in with "She's gotta moose-tash"

Then, during dinner, Jeremy had run to the bathroom and took too long. So everyone else was done and playing. No big deal to him, he sat to the table with his stack of pepperoni and started eating. Until Peter saw there was still more food and decided, although he doesn't like pepperoni, that he needed to eat some too. Jeremy circled his arms around his pepperoni and said to Peter "Don't come in my pepperoni!"

Can't Keep A Straight Face

So I was upstairs folding and putting away some laundry today when I was reminded it was snack time and then nap time for two little babies. I head down stairs, chatting along the way (because, hey, I talk all the time) when I heard an odd clanking-like sound. Then I heard Jeremy in a panic "Peter's on the door and won't get off....You're gonna break it, Peter. You're gonna break it!"

So I round the corner knowing it's one of two "doors"... the oven or the dishwasher. Neither will be able to hold him for much longer, but Peter has not accepted this and seems to think both serve him better than a chair for getting into trouble!

I'm preparing for the reprimand and the possible time out when I see the following! (And burst out laughing)


I guess Peter thought it was his turn to cook! :)

Seven Years... And Counting

So they say that the first seven years of a marriage are the hardest... Well, then, I guess we've past the test! ;)

So we've had an uneventful anniversary... because, after all, it was graduation... so Bob worked a double... but that's okay..... because........

Starting last year, we decided that it wasn't so important for us to celebrate our anniversary by ourselves or even for ourselves (until then, it had always bothered my some because Bob would be working...and I'd be pregnant or nursing and it just never happened). But I realized something much more important last year.....

Gabi really thought that we needed to celebrate (as in, Bob and I) last year. She's really big into celebrations, even if she's not involved. In noting how important it was for her, I had her help me make up a very special cheesecake... that we made up on the spot, with some special and not so normal ingredients... so no one else has this recipe.... and we called it Midnight Delight. It's fantastic... sorry, it's our family secret.

As we sat down to "celebrate" with our wonderful slices of Midnight Delight, I realized that celebrating with my children was so much more important to me. The kids asked what an anniversary was and why it was so special. And we were able to tell them that it was the day we were married; but more than that, it was the day we were sealed. It was at that very moment that I made the connection. It was important to celebrate with my children because it was the day our whole family was sealed for time and all eternity. It was the day that we, as a family, on earth and in heaven, promised that we'd work hard together to be forever together in the presence of our Heavenly Father. To always be a family.

We made a decision right then that we would always celebrate our anniversary (our Family's Anniversary) together, as a family. And since we couldn't do it tonight (being that Daddy has to work), Gabi and I are making Midnight Delight for tomorrow, when we can talk about the very special event once again!

So, happy seven years to us! And more importantly, to our family!

The Truth Behind The Rudeness

As Gabi has been 5 and now 6, I have watched her shift from the more pleasant and peaceful (cooperative) child to one who demands that she get her way. I've often wondered what makes a child go into such a "destructive" zone. Destructive because it causes such emotional heartache (mostly for herself), distance in relationships (because we can't seem to understand one another any more... I know, just wait until she's a teenager... okay... I'm dreading that), and, at times, because she physically lashes out at whatever is around her (objects, not typically people.. therefore, dangerous, once again, to herself).

But I also have seen her continue to show genuine concern, love and compassion for others. She's sensitive by nature, and has a truly sweet heart. I've especially enjoyed seeing this side of her come out today as she's spent time with her cousin.

See, we brought Libby up here to stay with us for a week (maybe longer, depending on how quickly her mom is able to recover) so that her mother could rest a little easier when she has baby brother on Monday by way of C-Section. She's two weeks older than Peter. (I now know what it's like to have twins in the 16 month stage).

Libby loves people.. children especially. And Gabi loves to have a reason to pamper and dote on someone else. A little someone else. Someone whom she can just love and help and make happy. (They say children preform based on the people they see the most... I guess I should take this as a compliment) Gabi is with her most of the time. Making sure she's got enough to eat, that she's got the right toy, that she has help on the slide. She speaks to her in soft, sweet tones. It's wonderful to see this side of Gabi linger so long today!

It's also made me stop and think. Why, when her very nature is to be so loving and gentle and kind would she be so deliberately cruel, resentful, rude. And then I realized the answer. It's me. (No, I'm not taking too much credit... not yet anyway.) Really. It's me. And her dad. And maybe her grandparents (though I can't say that for sure). And maybe her teachers (again, I can't say that for sure either)... so, let me explain!

All her life, Bob and I have tried to instill in our children a sense of empowerment. We feel very strongly that all children need to be empowered. We feel it helps with self worth, and in building a strong, secure character. We have taught her (and her siblings... oh, boy... look out) that they have free agency. They have been blessed with the ability to make choices. For better or worse. They have a choice to make every moment of every day. As she's grown, we've given her choices so that she would have to choose something and then recognize the conscious effort in choosing. They were safe choices; then they were helping her stop and recognize good and bad choices.

What I have mistakenly seen as resentful, spiteful, hateful moments from my daughter, are not in fact such. They are, instead, a child trying to act and not be acted upon. How do I know this? Because whenever such battles arise, it never fails that we'll hear something about how "it's my choice" or "I get to choose" or "you can't make that choice for me".

We have explained to our children that along with choice comes stewardships and responsibilities. We are all children of God. We are all equal in that way. But through His marvelous plan, families were created, so that we could help each other, teach each other, and learn and grow together. And that, as parents, a loving Heavenly Father requires us to protect, teach and even, at times, to discipline the children He has so careful grated us stewardship over.

I can see where these two issues would create friction. Gabi knows that the family is ordained of God. That His gospel is true. She also knows that she has a right and a responsibility to make her own choices. But what she's been learning is how those two parts work together. She has been learning that she still has a choice, even when Mom and Dad seem to be making the choice for her. She can choose to obey or disobey. And she understands that she chooses her consequence at the time she chooses her action. And that actions and consequences are inseparably connected (not that she always likes this).

This complex set of "rules" which was expounded from the original "you always have a choice to make" is more difficult to stomach. Not because it's more confusing. No, more because it's accepting that free agency came at a price. And because it came at a price, there are rules. And so, free agency does not mean that we are free to do whatever we want without consequence. But rather, free agency is free because it allows us to choose to obey our Lord and Savior who died for us. And in so doing, we must accept His plan which binds us to stewardships, responsibilities, and the consequences of our actions (our choices). Learning to faithfully and steadily follow these complexities requires that we make sacrifices (not always doing what we might first think we want to do) and to trust that someone, who loves us more dearly than all, knows better than us.

It is a struggle.

I still believe in empowering her. But now, when the sweet and gentle Gabi slips away behind the mask of anger and retaliation, I can remember that she's going through a struggle, as she learns what it really means to have free agency.

MUD DOGS Season Begins

Well last night was the first baseball game of the season! The MUD DOGS season, that is! Gabi has been having so much fun learning to play baseball, and we all went out to see her play last night.

First, I must say that the other three kids were rather antzy! You know how hard it is for a 4, 2, and 1 year old to sit still... or at least stay in the right area and off the field. We, of course, were there in time to watch the warm up (which, for Jeremy) was more than enough. He just wanted to be on the playground (which we spent 2/3 of the game at... around the corner of the building so you can't see the game). I did make them wait long enough for me to see Gabi play (although I never saw her play in the outfield... so the little ones will have to appease me again for another home game before the season is done)!

Okay... the game. It's the first level baseball (just up from T-Ball) so there are a few rules that are a little different. Like the coach pitches to the kids. There are only 6 innings instead of 9. And I'm not sure if it's a rule or if it was just a good-sportsmanship idea.. but the kids could only run one base if the ball was in the infield, and two if the ball went to the outfield. Never-the-less, it certainly made it more fun for the kids... and the parents watching... to see all the kids get a chance!

Gabi was able to hit the ball her first time up to bat! (Okay, I forgot to tell you I'm now going to brag a little... isn't that something mom's are entitled to?) Being her first year in the game, and her first game, she started running the other way... but it took just a second to correct that and she made it to first. (Although we did have to tell her she needed to actually touch the base, not just get close to it.... I don't think she had any trouble after that... and besides, it's all about having fun and learning the game).













With a good run in the team, she was able to get to second and third bases. And then she was able to make it home. I think she was the first score of our team (although I can't say that with certainity because I did have three other children to be watching). And it wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the other hitters behind her! I love how baseball is a team sport! (All sports are, or should be.. but baseball... at least at this level... has to be!)













Anyway, I was, as her mother, very excited for her to have been able to make it all the way around. (And happy that I'd been able to gather the pictures all at once... except outfield...so I could get the little ones off to the playground before I went insane from the boredom. Jeremy's boredom that is... the one that just can't stand to be bored so he goes off in search of a reaction from the nearest, and easiet, target... Beth)

Oh, yah! The kids got their T-shirts just before the warm-up. And they were able to choose their number... first come, first choice...Gabi is number 6... I bet, knowing Gabi, that's because she is 6!

Great job, Gabi! Great job, MUD DOGS! Have lots of fun with the next game!

The Joys of Spring

Since returning from vacation, we've finally cleared completely of snow, felt the slight chill return for a few days, and have not had to have a fire (even over night) in a week! It's exciting to feel the energy of spring creep into our bones! And better, still, when we get outside and forget about such things as "chores".... until, of course, we return to the house and find the day is gone and we've not accomplished anything on the inside. Never-the-less, there is something to be said for beautiful sunshine, fresh air, and the sounds of nature all around! I can't think of anything else that can lift me so completely so quickly!






Anyway... along with spring comes the joys of gardening. For some, that might be the "chores of gardening", but for most in our house it's simply joyful! Last week was sprinkled with time clearing the old corn stalks. That finished up Saturday morning and then Bob turned the dirt under in the garden for the first time this year! It's great to see the beginning of a garden like that. Some how that raw dirt look is just a wonderful reminder of all the life that will come! The kids really enjoyed moving the corn stalks out and kept mentioning how many they were carrying at a time or how high up they could hold it. I think I heard Beth say she had 5 at once... that's a lot (given the size) for her little body. It also included sword fights, which quickly got out of hand and then had to be stopped!
















Yesterday, Mother's Day, we ate the first veggies from our garden! How, you might ask, if we have not yet done the planting and only a few weeks have gone without snow (we've still had light frosts off and on).... well, the answer... asparagus and chives! Once you've planted them, you don't have to do it again, and they will come up year after year. They thrive in the type of weather we've been having; and I must say that I've not had better asparagus in my life. The young stalks were garden sweet, and ever so tender!

Today was the first of the year's plantings. Potatoes! We always plant way too many, but we've never been lacking for people to share them with. So, since we (and especially our children) love potatoes, we figure having too many means we're guaranteed to have enough.

Gabi and Bethie loved to help. They love the story of the Little Red Hen (although they know the story more through a variation called "Manana, Iguana" which was given to us for Beth and Peter's birthdays. So, for them, it was about helping so they could eat the potatoes when they are done growing! You'll notice that Gabi doesn't mind being dirty one little bit! She loves it. Lays right done in it. Bethie, though, stood up and leaned way over to drop in the pieces so she could get the least amount of dirt on her! :) I love to see them both helping, but with their very different personalities showing!

Although the planting was happening, there was also a lot of playing. Bob is really our gardener... although I think Peter might be big enough that I might actually get in and help with weeds this year. The kids enjoy it too, but they are, after all, just kids. And since I had Bob bring out the toddler playset, Jeremy couldn't be bothered to plant more than a few seconds... I didn't even get a picture of him in the garden tonight! (Although I heard that after dinner, while Peter was taking his bath, Jeremy was having tons of fun being a "bulldozer" pushing the dirt on top of the potato pieces! That certainly explains why he was so dirty and in need of a bath. I only wish I could have been there to see it!

Peter learned that walking in garden soil is trickier than walking on the grass! He also learned that gardens around here are often filled with rocks and stones. He'd find them and bring them to the edge and throw them out. It seems he already knows they don't belong in the garden!













The girls practiced jump rope... which was great for Gabi as she'd actually get a couple of jumps in a row. And for Bethie, she was so excited to be able to get the rope over her head! And I showed them each how to throw a frizbee... I figured we need a new activity this year. The girls are getting older and they are certainly able to do more things.... although they still get bored easily and run off to other activities! :) (Oh the joys of being a kid)

So the planting has begun... and will continue for a few more weeks! My mouth is already watering for the wonderful produce we can expect again this year!