It's Working!

For a long time now (a very, very, very, very, very, very.....long time) I've been trying to figure out what to do to "keep" my house "reasonably" clean... or rather, tidy. Clean is relative.. "tidy" makes me think "lived-in in a nice way". Okay... anyway... tidy comes and goes around here.....and most of the time (especially over the last two months) tidy has not shown up at all... instead... war zone!

We've had far too many "ouches" from stepping on, stumbling over, stubbing toes on, etc, etc all the "toys". We've had way to many "landing piles" for laundry... which just get kicked and dragged around the house... and too little energy to fight the always mounting pile of dishes while kids seem to scream and beat on one another (timing is everything)!

Beyond my breaking point, I had a wonderful conversation with my dear friend Heather... and she shared with me something she and her husband do with her daughter... something that finally said (in my head) "yes.... yes... that just might work!" ------AND IT WORKS!--------

Children have to learn responsibility... there are many kinds of responsibilities and many ways to do this... but learning exactly what it means to be responsible for our things - well, let's just say that kids don't seem to grasp that nearly fast enough. So... this is what we're doing..........

The children are (for now) only responsible for their toys. I spoke with them to explain, once again, what it meant to be responsible for something. (Simply put...for the benefit of my two year old.... taking care of, being nice to, and keeping it safe) --as time goes on, we'll be adding other responsibilities...such as clothes and shoes---

Now for the "fun" part.... they receive one (1) (yes, only 1) reminder towards the end of the day that they are responsible for their toys. They now get to choose (I love this part, because it's empowering them) whether or not to pick them up and put them away nicely. When they go to bed, I walk through the house (right now it's just the downstairs... since I'm trying to get us caught up from the 'war zone' while easing into this) to collect any 'stray' toys that have been left behind. These toys will go to the "unwanted / unneeded box" (which I'd love to rename something more creative... when my creative mind is not so over-loaded). These items are now "mine"....and I can choose to let them earn the items back by doing something helpful, not hard on them, which is not a "normal" chore or responsibility for them. (I've figured this is a great way to start weeding things out too...because if they don't coming asking where it is, I know they don't really need to have it around)

I found this "liberating" for me. I had not realized how much I was "binding" myself to the mess of my children and letting it over-whelm me to the point of not getting anything accomplished. I stopped worrying about the toys, and started in on other things... accomplishing 6 loads of laundry, 2 rounds of dishwasher dishes, sweeping floors, collecting dirty laundry, and cleaning out half of the "spare room" (aka the catch all place) all in the space of one day!

I thought for sure I'd be collecting a large box full of toys that first night. Nope! After listening to the kids agree to this... then seeing that their choices to not clean up had wasted much of their time, listening to the complaining and the "that's not fair" and the freaking out and yelling at each other....they suddenly pulled it together, right after dinner... before bedtime... and got all the toys... ALL THE TOYS... No, really, ALL the toys put away!

And each night since, they have cleaned up all their toys. They've even begun to put some toys away when they first finish playing with them (something we've been trying to get them to do forever without any luck). They don't complain.. they just do it!

My nerves are back on track... when chaos hits... 'cause it still does...I'm actually able to cope instead of losing my mind! Life is surely looking up!

More than that... I must say a great THANK YOU, HEATHER for being the instrument to answering prayers! The Lord is truly mindful. He helps us through others... and this is a wonderful example of that.....

Now... if I could just get the kids to learn patience.....