Cause for Reflection

This has been one of those week / weekends which have given me, once again, a reason to reflect. It started with preparing for the Sweetheart Ball... a dance and game night put on by our Elder's Quorum. To be honest, I thought it was a great idea, until I realized I was still dealing with issues with Jacob (I know, I've yet to post about all that yet). And with those issues, that meant we might have a good day or we might have a terrible one. We might have a somewhat reasonable schedule and sleep pattern, or we might wonder what storm hit and knocked us off balance. As I realized this, and the lack of sleep began to add up, I wasn't looking as forward to it.

I was hoping that maybe Jacob would be having a good day and then I'd be able to leave him without that constant motherly nag (I think that's worse than taking the baby with you on a date... at least for me). At the same time I became keenly aware that I really didn't have anything to wear - because, oddly, I felt that a Sweetheart Ball was a real reason to get dressed up for a date... I never get dressed up.... so my wardrobe is certainly lacking in that department. But, if it was a good week, I figured I could at least sew up a skirt... that left me wondering about a top (which, of course, was what I lacked most... something dressy that fit and worked with nursing).

My mother had helped me pick out fabric a long time ago... I think when Jeremy was a baby... that I would use make into something for myself. Of course, I kept putting it off thinking that I would get smaller when I was done having kids... needless to say, the fabric has been sitting on the bottom of my fabric stash for a long time. But, I dug some of it out the other day... let's just say the best I came up with was getting the skirt cut out... and maybe a blouse (which I altered along the way, so I have no idea if it will work out)... but seeing that it was an extra busy week with class parties and all, well, I finally just gave up at having it cut out and thought it was best to focus on some of the house and just come up with something else. I ended up wearing a skirt I made in college (without a pattern) one which seriously needs some alterations done to it... don't ask, it was an assignment... but it was pastel and it was something I hadn't worn in a long time... and no, I was am not as skinny as I was back then or I might have gotten away with wearing the fitted waist black silky skirt I made in college for choir... that, of course, is at least 5 inches too small (sounds better than saying I'm 5 inches too big!).

The night went well anyway, but I seriously wonder what's up with me. I don't "go out" well... I think I struggle ever since becoming a mom... I'm always thinking about the kids. I like the idea of going out... I really like the idea of going out and having a wonderful, peaceful, romantic time.... but, oh well.

Then I had an visit from a dear friend. Her relationship is a struggle, which made me think about my sister and the struggles she went through, and then my parents. I thought about myself and my husband and where we are today. And although I'm not the best "date" in town, I realized I have so much to be grateful for. I may not have had the cute outfit to wear, or the right state of mind, but I do have a great husband. None of us are perfect, we all struggle with many things, but what I love is that he and I are committed to making the best of our marriage and our family. Striving to work together to build a strong foundation for our children. Trying to become better. Earnestly working toward eternity... together.

And then there's today... our lesson was on the value of work. I was called a few nights ago and asked to prepare a little something to explain how we get our children to work. I nearly laughed out loud on the phone as it just so happened that the last couple of weeks I felt like I was pulling my hair out trying to convince my children that our chore system was still in place.

Yet in doing so, in preparing those few words, I learned something again. My children do really well compared to much of the world. We do not live on a farm or a ranch where constant vigilance to work ultimately determines how successful the entire family and farm and ranch are. Some times I wish we did - just so our children would have the experience. But our children are still learning the value of work. As they get better at their chores (yes, they are rewarded) I've seen (most of the time) that they start taking better care of their space. Having to go back and clean up a huge mess upsets them. Feeling like the mess is too big to complete in the necessary time frame discourages them. But because we work through it (together) and talk about how to make it better next time, I have seen (most of the time) that they are willing to pick up their dirty laundry and put it in the hamper, and to pick up the things they were just playing with. Sometimes with just a little reminder, and sometimes with no reminder. They love the acknowledgment and praise for making these right choices. And they especially love that chores go much faster and mean they can have free time when they've tidied up along the way.

No one likes work, but we all benefit from it. And we all acknowledge that we love a clean and organized space. We feel the spirit more fully and it frees us to be able to do more of the things we desire to do.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Many will think this is a lover's holiday. For me, it's a day like all the others. But a day which makes for reflecting upon what has brought us joy - the love we share with family and friends. The strength we gain from peace and comfort. It's a day we will celebrate, but we will also do chores. Because we grow closer to one another as we work together for a common goal. What better way to celebrate Valentine's then by doing those things that bring us close together and closer to eternity!?!