Bowls, Anyone?

Okay.. you know that my dear husband loves to make cabinets! Okay... loves to work with wood! It's a great blessing.. and sometimes way too time consuming... but he does enjoy it (most of the time). Well, out in California (I may have mentioned this already) he learned how to really use the lathe. For those of you who don't know, that's the tool which makes it really easy to make round things.

Anyway, he started by making three pieces... a bowl (out of redwood... so beautiful - you'll see two pictures of this one bowl), a pepper mill (from walnut), and a new rolling pin (from cherry). The rolling pin had been used by everyone except me... until I made an apple pie four days ago! I didn't have to do anything except help it move... no real pressure... it's the style... and oh, how I love it!

Anyway, since Bob's been cutting up the woodpile (fire woodpile), he found some spaulted maple wood. Too pretty to burn, so he decided to turn it instead. Thus far, he's made three little bowls. Three different styles. (And although the pictures make these three appear to be bigger than the redwood bowl, that is not the case.)

Well, I hope you enjoy seeing these pieces. My personal favorite (of the new three) is the first of the pictures you see (the most "normal shaped" bowl). I really love the grain of the wood! It's so beautiful - Don't you think?

Blueberry Picking

Well I can't recall the last time I went before this year! Yikes! It's been too long! But really, with Bob's schedule in the past, and me either pregnant or nursing or just little ones too small to hang onto without others to help watch... well, we just didn't get there! This year, though, on a whim (thanks to Leah's blog) I jumped at the chance and Bob was willing. So we packed everyone up last night and off we went... during the dinner hour (yes, I fed my kids a large snack before and had one waiting in the van for after).

I was amazed. Just under two hours in the blueberries and we came home with 30 pounds! What great pickers I have! It was amazing... and that doesn't count all the ones that Peter picked out of the bucket and threw on the ground, or the ones that kept spilling out of the kids' bucket when it was all but full! (Peter did help quite a bit, though, too)

Jeremy loved to bounce between buckets (Bob's, mine and the girls') and Peter was, of course, the first one done with everything since he's no longer napping. But it seemed that if he went to the other parent, he'd become content again and start picking more berries.

The girls had fun "hiding" from Jeremy as they ventured near us to find the bush with the "best berries" (ie... the most easily able to be picked by little hands).

All in all we had a great time and the kids are already talking about going again next year!

First Pie

Gabi has always enjoyed helping in the kitchen. So, since I had the unexpected pleasure of picking blackberries two days ago, I let her make a blackberry pie! She did almost all of it herself. I helped her read the recipe (since that's still a little confusing with all the "parts" and not just "wholes" to deal with) and I assisted in rolling out and forming the actual crust. But she put together the berries and mixings, and made the crust herself. The kids even cut little shapes from the left over pie crust dough and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar... I call them cinnamon-sugar scraps... whatever they are, they are yummy and only last as long as it takes to cool enough to get in the mouth!

The pie is wonderful! Gabi tried it, although she decided there were too many seeds for her. I wasn't too surprised, since all my kid will only eat seedless jams! :)

A Start and A Transition

We officially started home schooling yesterday! It's been exciting... and this week is really more of a get our barrings and make sure we know how to fit it all in week. But Gabi seems to really be enjoying herself... enough so that she even mentioned how much fun she had today in her prayer. I've enjoyed my kids coming into bed with me and wanting me to read to them! It's a much better way to enjoy the morning than racing for the kitchen to make sure we have a lunch, homework, shoes, jacket... and whatever else might be needed that day!

This morning, Gabi came in and we finished half a book before the other kids joined us. It was nice to have some alone time with her... that hasn't happened often.

I've also been transitioning Peter..... all my other kids were off naps at this point, so I should have put two and two together sooner... but it was during the "dad away at Zion's Camp" when I let me kids "camp out" downstairs that I learned why Peter was awake every night... typically happy (if he can find the bink) but just lays there, kicking whatever and tossing and turning until he falls asleep again! Oh well... this week is rocky.... transitions always are.. but I think it might go a little faster than the others!

On the up side, I've noticed Peter using his words much more often... when he's not over tired! And today I even got him to do a sentence in sign... "please, read more book"... as he was wanting me to read Dora's Opposites in English and Spanish (from Aunt Cheri several years ago) over and over and over again. I, of course, had to accommodate since he was actually communicating and not screaming! His favorite part, though, was at the end when he started pointing to all the characters and I'd tell him each name. When I'd get to Tico, he started laughing and laughing. It was great fun!

Anyway, look for our new blog... we'll be starting a second one just to keep track of home schooling things... fun adventures, and notes to help us remember everything. We haven't decided on a "school name" yet, so the site's not yet set up. I'll let you all know when we get it running!

A Little Taste of Perfection

This morning we made pancakes... of course, we had pancakes for lunch yesterday too.. but that's okay! This time, though, we were finally able to open our new jug of maple syrup! See, about two years ago, my step-father bought me a gallon of the best maple syrup in the whole world (VERMONT MAPLE SYRUP)! That's a special treat, since I don't live in Vermont any more. But we only just got to bring it home the last time I was visiting because I kept forgetting to put it in my van! Anyway, I made everyone wait, including myself, until the old jug of syrup (not Vermont) was finished up. So today, we got a little taste of perfection! Oh, how I've missed the perfect maple syrup! - And yes, folk, there is a very big difference... if you can't taste it, then you're surely missing out!

Adventures From The Chapel

Sunday mornings... well, unlike many, this one wasn't so bad. The kids were actually getting along. The blanket project "miraculously" came together, and Gabi was so great about helping the boys to get dressed, getting the kids breakfast, and getting our bags together! (All so I could get the blankets finished so we'd actually be able to deliver them)

She then picked several flowers that she wanted to take up to leave with Savannah. We had originally thought we'd do that before church, but since things worked out with the blankets, we visited after church instead. It was nice to visit her grave. The kids really enjoyed laying the flowers down, and then Gabi stood, by herself, and blew over 20 kisses right in a row. Paused (maybe she was talking, I don't know I was watching from behind) and then she waved. It was cute and touching.

Any way... the adventures were actually at church. See, we walked in, with our bags, everyone sat down nice and calm. The books were opened for reading. Everyone getting along. Everyone behaving and being nice. Peter discovered that he had people to entertain behind us, so he focused his attentions backward.. but he was still being quiet, so I didn't mind. (After all, Bob was gone on Stake business again, so whatever made my life a little easier through Sacrament was a okay)

Peter has learned to "jump"... mostly just up to the toes and bouncing down again. So, in his entertaining mode, he decided he would "jump" for the people behind him. Sure enough, his foot slipped... since he was only on the edge of the bench... and over backwards he tumbled just as the first Sacrament prayer was finished. He hit his head, so I knew I had to get him out before he started screaming.

As I picked him up, I noticed a little blood... so I grabbed him, and, while darting out or the chapel, told the guy behind me to watch the others and grabbed the father of a friend on my way out the door to help me find the first-aid kit! By the time we got across the hall and into the mother's lounge, there was blood all over the back of his head. So, we cleaned it up, put on the pressure and tried to get it stopped... Fortunately Peter wasn't willing to move much, so the bleeding settled down without much trouble.

So I took Peter back into the meeting... now Jeremy needs to go potty... so the boys and I head out. That done, we get back and now Jeremy is down-right bored... which, for anyone who knows, means nothing but trouble for everyone near by. Sure enough, he decided he'd bug Beth... feet on her, laying on her, pulling her book away, and so on. I tried sitting him up, talking to him, and finally we left for a time out. I decided he was doing better on the couch in the hallway.. it might have had something to do with the friend's dad being there... so I checked with the girls (who were being perfect) and stayed in the hall with them.

Well, the "good" wore off, and the next thing I know the boys are wrestling (and laughing) on the floor. Not long after, I noticed the wound was bleeding again. So I get that stopped, get through the last song and prayer and head off to deposit kids in the right rooms. - Jeremy and Gabi, no problem.... Bethie... she just wanted me... Peter wanted to be in nursery.. but his head started bleeding again.

So I sat, in the hallway, with Peter (who fell asleep) and then Bethie (who also fell asleep) while the Primary President decided it would be best to find someone else to cover music. I must admit was was grateful for that... with all that was swirling around me, I didn't have the energy left to be "entertaining".

On a side note, I'm not actually the primary music leader any more either. (As of last week) But with presentation coming up, I offered to help out until the new leader was called. Instead, I have been called to be the Den Master (for cub scouts)... and let me tell you, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO REAL IDEA OF WHAT I'M DOING! It will be exciting to learn, but I know that right now I feel completely and totally lost. Part of that is probably because we've not had a cub scout program for at least as long as I've lived here.... so there's no one "easily identifiable" to consult. There are people I can talk to... so I'll be getting it together... slowly... and maybe faster than I think!

Ever Feel Like Running Away?

Oh, it's not the kids. It's not the house. It's not even life.... I don't think. It's that things have started to slow.... sort of.

I was in over-drive before California. I was sick most of California. We went mad with the carpet just after. Then I had my sister here for a good visit (although I'm sure she's happy to be home for many reasons... including not having to listen to a 19 month and 3 year old yell most of the time).

I've been trying to work on this project... first some of the fabric was left at the store... remedy, have friend grab it and bring it to church for me... then the printer died... and we got another one... and it didn't work well... though three days of fighting and I managed to get the transfers printed... then there was life that never slowed down... still, no big deal... I thought I'd start cutting pieces while my sister was here... discovered I'd left the rotatory cutter in her room.. in the desk... no not there... later to find in the closet....who knew... then get going... things are working out.... seems to be coming together (FINALLY)... can't find the sewing machine... not because it wasn't in it's home... because I forgot it had a new home.... found it... bobbin kept tangling (how is that possible with an auto tension?)... finally got that fixed (don't ask me how)... moving along...then I tried to finish the last part... with the shaggy material and the stitch I was trying to use, I managed to sew the presser foot to the fabric.. yup... I could take off the foot... then I could move it and the fabric away... totally attached... removed that... discovered I might be able to get a straight stitch in... that keeps bunching... I'll be handing sewing... that's a lot of hand sewing.... it will take me the better part of another week.... and there you have it for good intentions!

Anyway, in all of that, I've "slowed" enough to be able to think and feel again. Apparently that's not a good thing. However, I try to keep in mind a quote (that I'm sure I'll flub up and for which I can't seem to refind so I can't give you the author - I had read four or five articles all at the same time) which basically said:

Even Jesus wept when he learned that Lazarus had died, even though He knew He'd be raising Lazarus from the dead.

The point was that although Jesus knew the death was temporary, he still cried. He still mourned with those that mourned. He still felt and allowed himself to feel the sadness that comes from missing and knowing you will miss someone. To feel the heartache of both self and others. Crying is okay.

I guess that's where I'm at. I'm okay most of the time, and my circumstances and feelings surrounding Savannah's death are different and unique from everyone elses, but that's part of what makes it hurt so much. It's part of why I find myself with tears that I can't bite back.

But it's okay.. because, after all, the Lord provides things to make us laugh (as my mother and I did over the presser foot). I mean, really, can you just picture a presser foot completely sewed onto the edge of a blanket?

Waterfalls

Well... it would appear that we've done NOTHING over the last week... but then again, appearances can be deceiving... and they are!

The weekend was filled with odds and end stuff... going to Newport on a speaking assignment... and getting the computer completely backed up in preparation for an upgrade... a full system upgrade! That was a bit of a headache.. but we got through it!

Tuesday the kids and I went back to meet up with Jenna and bring Amber back here for a couple more days before she headed home. Since we met in a beautiful area, we decided to do a little site seeing as well... the weather was some what cooperative... and we had a nice little time! We had a picnic; then we saw the first of three waterfalls. It was at a place not so well known, called the Baby Flume. It was pretty... although it would have been prettier without the rain (which wasn't too bad), we enjoyed it.

Just down the road... not even a full minute... we stopped to see Cascade Stream with some waterfalls as well.. not sure why they didn't name the waterfalls! The kids were able to stop here and throw rocks. That, of course, was more fun and more exciting then seeing the waterfalls... which got a quick "WOW" and then right back to the throwing of rocks! :)

That's when Jenna and her kids headed back the other way and we headed back ours. We made another stop at Smalls Falls... which I didn't think was quite as pretty since the water was all murky-looking (even in the falls itself) because of all the rain... and the water levels were really high! The kids loved trying to climb the rocks on the way up and down... and learned that when rocks are wet, they are slippery!

Wednesday we didn't do too much... although we made sure to scan in all the pictures Amber drew of the Pixie Hollow Fairies.... just right to make our own little coloring book! The girls are so excited about that! And though the bulk of the day was spent inside... trying to get caught up from the weekend... late afternoon took everyone out on the deck for ice cream (or sorbet), and then out to the Wire Bridge. The water level there was crazy high (at least for that section) and someone before us had started a bit of a rock wall damn to slow the current for swimming. Much of the time there was spent building that up more and throwing rocks.

Thursday we took Amber back to the airport... stopping to catch a movie and make a return (our printer had died and so did the scanner in it, so we'd gotten two separate ones this time, but the printer didn't end up working right, and we ended up getting another all-in-one... it's a Canon... works great.. and I love it... for now, anyway... mostly I just love that I have access to a printer and scanner again!). Then, since we were so early, we stopped by the mall which ended in Ben and Jerry's (at the mall)! It was especially hard for Gabi to say good-bye to Aunt Amber... she even told me this morning that it would be easier on her if she could live in Maryland, California, or Vermont... where her relatives are!

Today we've embarked on another project... one that has taking too long to get the stuff together... loosing things... finding things... and on and on. We're about half way through... and I believe we'll finally finish it! I'm hoping to complete it tonight after the kids are in bed (probably wishful thinking) and then tomorrow morning we can finish cleaning and getting the rest of the stuff unpacked and organized from getting the carpet put in... that's probably expecting too much too... I'll settle for clean and tidy before Bob gets home from Zion's Camp.... oh, did I mention he left Wednesday morning for that?

Life becomes normal again next week... I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it... I don't even know what normal is any more! But I'm looking for to it none the less... Until then... I'll try to keep focused!

Farewell, Dear Angel

Yesterday was the final farewell to Dear Sweet Savannah's mortal body.

I cried. I laughed. I remembered. I loved more fully.

Dancing In The Rain

Wednesday night the girls had the wonderful opportunity to dance on the street along with the rest of their dance school. It's something the dance school has been doing for the past several years and Gabi had a blast with last year. Both girls had been looking forward to this all summer.

So the day arrived... and, as you may know from the earlier post, it was raining.... pouring. We went into town to get new glasses fitted for Amber and then called to make sure the drive would be worth it (as in, it wasn't raining so badly that they couldn't dance). And, sure enough, where we were going things we're looking more hopeful. So off we went.

It was still raining when we arrived. But not as badly as it was back home. The girls were chilly (especially Beth) so they had on their jackets. I was amazed that you couldn't tell that Beth was cold at all while she was dancing. She really does love it!

Anyway... thought you'd like to see a couple pictures of the girls "Dancing in the rain".... a fun time and neat experience.

A Little Adventure - In A Big Way

Wednesday morning we packed everyone up and head out to drop Amber and Bob off for a nice run down the river. It was calling for rain, but all the days leading up to it the rain held off until at least late afternoon, so we were hoping for the same. We got to the starting point, Bob and Amber gathered the canoe and their things and headed down the bank to get started. (I only have pictures from the beginning of the trip since I wasn't going to be "tagging along") All seemed well.

So I drove the kids and myself home thinking I'd sit down with them and read "Vidia and the Fairy Crown" since we'd not been able to touch it in several days due to late nights (we were reading a chapter a night of this series and had only just got through the first chapter of this book). Before I could sit and read with them, though, I needed to catch things up in the kitchen before I really got behind... we've done fairly well keep things tidy and cleaned up!

I was just thinking that I'd make some nice soup for everyone that evening, since it had started to pour outside... I figured my two adventurers would be in need of some warm and filling food. But I wasn't expecting them until at least mid-afternoon, so I knew I didn't need to start it right off. I had just finished up the kitchen and was working on a load of laundry when the phone rang.

I was screening our calls... we've had way too many that I can't answer the questions to, so I just let them go to voice mail for Bob to deal with later. So I almost didn't answer when I saw "Robinson Gen" show up. But for some strange reason (okay, I was prompted) I picked it up. And there, on the other end, was Bob. They wanted me to pick them up. Obviously they'd cut their trip short - due to the rain and all - right? So, yes, I gathered all my kiddos and off we went again.

When I arrived to pick them up, there they were.. two very drenched individuals... I almost said drowned rats, but really... They get in, I turn on the heater (yes, the heater in the summer... the kids weren't too thrilled but seemed to accept my response).

"So, hey. Where's the canoe?" I said.

"We left it in the river" came the response from Bob.

"With some friends" added Amber

"Left it in the river? You mean you banked it and we need to go get it?"

"No. We left it in the river to be washed down stream with all our stuff."

Now, with me somewhat puzzled, the story came out.

Everything was going well. The weather was fine. The water was fine. They were having a good time. It seemed like a wonderful adventure... especially for someone who had never "gone down a river before".

Then came the rain. Not that a little rain hurts much of anything. But the rain and the splashing of the water made it hard to see through glasses, so Amber took hers off and held them between her teeth. And still things were going well... they were wet... and getting wetter... but everything was under control.

One wrong move - or rather "steer" - and the next thing they know they're in the water! Splash! Unexpected, cold, wet....

A gasp... the glasses gone.

The lunch... gone.

Water bottles... gone.

One paddle... gone.

A life preserver... gone.

The canoe..... BROKEN!

BROKEN. BROKEN. BROKEN. Split in half!

Very wet, and with nothing else to do, they head to shore. Amber, having never had this marvelous experience of being dumped and then fighting the current to get back to dry land... or rather, wet land. So, with some vocal guidance... and a lot of prayer... she made it safely there... and so did Bob.

Dripping... being rained on... looking back at the mess they'd have to leave behind... they then plunged forward to figure out where they are. The rain is pouring... they're cold... they stop at the first house they see... no answer. Then the second.... no answer. A third.... no answer.

"Three strikes. We're out."

And finally they land at the store they called me from.

In amongst all the excitement, they were able to see a rainbow and a Bald Eagle.... In looking back, Amber laughs. It wasn't funny then.. but it was a great adventure....

Bob... well... he always laughs... so that's what he did. Humor is all in the way you look at things! :)

A Small Sample Of Rockland

Rockland has some special memories for many in our family. The last time we were there... okay, for a real visit... was with Grandma and Grandpa Nielsen. That was several years ago... when I was pregnant with Jeremy. But it also has special memories for my father and step-mother. So, with that in mind, I thought it might be fun to take Amber over there so she could see what her parents loved here in Maine.

With the weather reports calling for so much rain, we planned the trip for yesterday... the one day we were suppose to have a break from rain. Of course, we then had three days of beautiful weather (with some rain at night) p that night and we neededroceeding our day adventure. I forgot about the ferry that goes to the island from Rockland until we were just about there. Had I remembered sooner, we would have left really early so we could have gone over. As it was, the day was going to be just "sampling" since the girls had a dance practice to stop off for a Sam's run since we were going through.

We still had a relatively nice time though... aside from Jeremy getting hurt and then just screaming and screaming because everything wasn't right any more. And then when he calmed down, Peter started in - he was just done with being in the van. (I didn't have my "magic" DVD players with me because I have no idea were the cases and plugs are right now... so much for unpacking!)

We went to the lighthouse museum where we were able to see many miniature displays of lighthouses and ships. We also were able to see old ship wheels, old rescue rigs, the various different types of lights and bells. It was neat.. but I must admit we didn't really have time to "learn" much by reading the plaques... four little kids in tow... 6, 4, 3, and 18 months.... well, let's just say we enjoyed it but it was good not to push it too long.

After that, we headed out to the breakwater light. You can walk along the breakwater (a huge stone wall for "breaking" the waves so the other side is much calmer) all the way out to the lighthouse. The lighthouse itself is only open on the weekends, so although we walked out there, we didn't actually go into it. That's okay... that was when Jeremy got hurt.

See the breakwater is made up of these really large rocks. But there are "cracks" between them that you have to step over. They aren't too big, but large enough that a foot could slip in them at times. Well, as we got right to the lighthouse, Jeremy started watching everyone up on the balcony of the house. This is when he missed the "crack" and scraped up his leg. That hurt quite a bit. He, obviously, wanted to be carried back. But it was hard between the two boys. Amber helped for a while... but they are both rather heavy and it's a long walk to be carrying such big kids.

Prior to that, though, we all enjoyed seeing and hearing the waves.. watching the boats and ships around... and the kids all walked out there by themselves... Jeremy even walked back a good part of it with his sore leg. Peter loved walking and would get mad when I'd tell him it was time to "catch up" which meant I had to carry him for a while again. But on the way back, he wanted to be carried.

Anyway, we had a nice little "taste" and we'd all love to go back and see much more some day.

A Little Divine Help

I've been trying hard to work on and finish a very special project. It's been more of a challenge than I had ever thought. It seems that much of what could go wrong in this process, has gone wrong. But I know that the Lord has helped me out a lot. Things that have made the project seem hopeless at times, have worked themselves out - after much prayer. Though the project is not yet completed, the major obstacles have been removed. And I hope to be able to finish the project soon. I'm sure the aid the Lord has given me so far will only continue - because it is, after all, a very special project. One for comfort; one made from love. I am truly grateful to have His divine help.

Super Soccer Saturday

Amber enjoys soccer... so she fits right in around here. The other day she was out kicking the ball around with the girls, and then a little with myself. I don't really get the chance to be out there much. Yesterday, although it was suppose to be pouring, it started out just cloudy. So Bob hunted down his soccer ball, since the girls' and the boys' ones are youth size, and took everyone out (except for Peter who was way over tired) for Super Soccer Saturday.

I was behind on the counters and dishes... not too bad, but enough... so I started in on that. Then I decided I better grab the camera. It was certainly a time I want to be sure and remember. Everyone seemed to have a really good time. And after my little ones came inside, Amber spent some time working on some skills with Bob.

We're really enjoying our time with Amber, and enjoying finding many things in common!

In Loving Memory

In Loving Memory
of
Savannah B. Hurley

We will miss you. But we will see you again. This is for you.

By Heaven's Kiss
~Tara L. Nielsen

T’was Heaven’s kiss that brought you here
By Heaven’s kiss you’re gone
On angel’s wings you traveled
Your mission blazing strong

For when you first arrived here
A miracle was seen
A tiny little baby
A wished for, hoped for dream

A treasure and a blessing
A joy to all around
Your smile and your laughter
The most musical of sounds

So sweet and kind and patient
So tender, bright and true
So gentle, brave and strong
And so very loving too

I won’t forget your courage
As you fought this painful fight
And your faith and you’re example
Remain as beacons in this life

And then will come the day
When I’ll see you once again
And together we’ll embrace
As we unite as friend to friend

Then I’ll tell you once again
As the tears fall from my eyes
How I love you, my dear angel,
And we’ll have no more good-byes

A Great Mission

Never have I been more grateful for the gospel than I have been today. With the passing of Savannah in the middle of the night, I have felt a mix of peace, calm, and whirl-winding emotions. At times I have felt that I have no right to feel this way, as she was not my child. Still, the impact that she's had on my life leaves me in a bit of a roller coaster right now.

I have always, from the day I meet her as a baby, loved Savannah. She has been a light to so many. She loved life with such enthusiasm, taking every opportunity to do the things she enjoyed the most.

I am so grateful for the knowledge of the plan of salvation (also known as the plan of happiness). For it promises us that we can, through Christ's atoning sacrifice, not only return to be with our loving Heavenly Father and our dear brother Jesus Christ once again. But that our families can be united forever again.

The power of the priesthood, that magnificent power to act in God's name and under His direct authority, is so important. It is the means by which our families can be sealed (united for eternity) and allow us to be with our families forever.

I am also so glad to know that all who are sealed and return to be with our Father in Heaven are also connected through this great power and plan of our Heavenly Father. This means that friends can be united with friends, as families can be united with one another.

Though I grieve, for I am sad, I do so because I already miss Savannah. I miss her dearly. But I find great comfort and joy in knowing that she is no longer in pain. That she is with Jesus and Heavenly Father. That she is happy. And that she will be reunited with everyone. I am also grateful and happy to know that her body will be made perfect and that she will be resurrected again, just as our Lord was resurrected.

Until that time, the time of reuniting, I know that she has a great work to do on the other side. She is a missionary. And she will be a great one. I only hope that we can assist her in her work. That as she prepares the spirits of those who have not yet accepted or had the opportunity to even hear the gospel, that we will be able to complete their work in the temple. She has her mission, but she will need our help.

Busy Day - Double Rainbow

Yesterday was a long day. Bob had to finally begin the major fix to the electric issues at the apartment, so he was gone all day. The kids got to stay home and do fun projects - like paper lanterns and necklaces and play trains - with a good friend of mine. And I made a run to Portland.

I was picking up my sister, so I figured there were a few other things I wanted and needed to do while I was at it. For starters, Jeremy needed a twin mattress. Peter has learned to climb out of his crib, and although he's pretty good about not doing it, he does, every so often, climb out. He's also the same age the others were when we moved them to the toddler bed - only a lot bigger. So, in order to move him up and out, we had to get a twin mattress for Jeremy. So, thanks to craigs list, I managed to find one! I also managed to find a futon mattress... and since Bob is going to be building us a futon frame, and I was going to be in the area any way, and the mattress was a great price, I made arrangements to get both the twin mattress and the futon mattress while in Portland.

Then, since Savannah had entered the hospital for what will be the last time, I rearranged my schedule to leave earlier so that I would have a chance to stop in and see the family. I must admit that I couldn't bring myself to actually say good-bye. She was just so peaceful sleeping there. But more over, I know that although she'll be leaving this life for now, I will see her again. Her spirit will live on. She will be doing a marvelous work for our Savior. She will no longer be in pain, and when we reunite, it will be in love. And it will be eternal.


It was a hard. But it was also a wonderful opportunity that I am grateful to have been given.

As a wonderful way to end the day, a way to lift spirits and to (in my mind) mark the beauty of the Lord's magnificent love for all of us, we were blessed to see this beautiful double rainbow right out our front window. This, I believe, was the first rainbow we've seen from this house (at least the first double rainbow) and it was just the perfect ending to the day. I hope you enjoy the pictures. You might have to lot closely for the top rainbow because it was much more faint. But it's there!

I Guess I'm Getting Old

Jeremy: I was a baby once, right?

Me: Yes. You were a baby once.

Jeremy: Who were you when I was in your tummy?

Me (with a smile): I was still me.

Jeremy: No. How old were you when I was in your tummy and a baby?

Me: I was 26 and 27.

Jeremy: That's a lot of years!

Need Advice - Digital Scrapbooking

So for years I've been a scrapbooker.... and for even more years (or so it seems) I've not been able to really do much of anything with it because there are always too many little hands and feet out and about.... it involves unpacking, doing, and re-packing things... of which I didn't have hardly enough time to actually just do let alone doing the other parts.

When our PC died a few years ago, we decided to go with the ever better (more stable and easier to use) MAC... (okay, so I'm biased, but I do believe those things).... we love our MAC and it's been great....

Now... the two are coming together... I'm switching to digital scrapbooking. I just don't have the time to continue to try (and usually not get that far) to get everything out only to scrapbook for a few minutes and pack it all back up. I've been reluctant to go digital in the past because it was so limited (and you always had to use someone else's designs and templates). But the digital scrapbooking world has comes leaps and bounds and I've loved the stuff I see my friend doing (and other's in the digital scrapbooking world). So, we're making the jump!

The girls and I tried out iRemember..... we struggled with the platform at first because, really, it could have been easier to use... after all, everything else in the MAC world is drag and drop! But once we worked around that, we enjoyed it..... that is until I started converting my layered pages into jpeg files (necessary for printing)... suddenly my nice, crisp pictures (pages) were suddenly slightly fuzzy... and often the words were missing parts (letters or parts of letters). I don't know what happened, but I didn't like that. Thank goodness I was still only using the trial version... that's one program I won't buy!

But.... for those of you out there who do digital scrapbooking on a MAC, I was curious what your opinions were about the software you use. I want something that allows me to not just scrapbook, but to create and manipulate things too. And I want the finished product (the thing I'm going to print) to be crisp, clear and just like I did it! Any and all thoughts would be great! Send your scrapbooking friends my way to add their input... I really could use it! :) Thanks!

Carpet And A Few Changes

Okay, so pictures didn't come "tomorrow".... we were so excited and then busy trying to get the house back together... that's going to take a few days. But, here are the promised pictures. A few are from before the carpet went in. You can see how ugly the "blue floor" really was (and still is in the kitchen). You can also see the stuff stacked up high and all around... just a couple of each. And then there's Jeremy.... he got into the crib to have his "greenies" because he was so tired from our very late night the night before....the crib was on top of the desk out in the kitchen! :)

And then you can see a couple of carpet pictures... everyone was really enjoying them. We did the same color throughout.... so, two rooms downstairs, and the entire upstairs. We also moved Bob and me downstairs.... the room we had been in upstairs is larger and we're going to use that as the as the "activity room".... we'll put a desk in it, and lots of shelves. That's where the kids books will be kept, the games, the "project stuff" (minus really messy things like paint and regular glue which will stay in the kitchen for messier projects), and any educational (home schooling) type stuff. It'll also be the spare room for when we have visitors over night... which isn't too often, but often enough that it's worth while.

Everyone is really excited about the "new" and the "change" in the house. We even rearranged the girls and boys rooms so they are a little more open for "upstairs playing". I'm not sure if you can see it in any of the pictures (I don't recall which one's I'll be posting in a minute) but Bob also marked out where he'll be putting in closets and thus separating the boys and girls rooms all together! That project will likely wait until winter or something like that since we can easily move the kids out for a week and block it off while it's getting done.

The next major project around here (notice it's all stuff for Bob... I don't seem to be very helpful in most of these projects) will be in the kitchen. If all goes well, while the kids and I are over in Vermont for a week, he'll get the back splash and the floor in. And he'll continue to plug away at the rest of the cabinet doors (and get the island finished) when he's got some time here and there. That might be awhile, because after Zion's Camp he's got more work to do for some other people. And over the next week and half, he's got apartment stuff to finish up. (That includes things at the first apartment)

What a busy man! But we'll be okay. We've got lots of boxes to go through and sort out... I even have containers to sort things into... and then we might actually be organized in this house... oh, my goodness!!!!! Okay, don't hold your breath... if it happens, I'll let you know! :)

In the mean time, we've got carpet..... soft under foot.... easy to lay on.... oh, the lifestyle change! :)

Noisy Excitement

Noisy.... that's all there is to it! It's after 9pm and the house is rockin'..... my head is trying hard not to shut down... noise at this hour just doesn't set well with me!

So why is it so noisy? No, we're not having a party... though the neighbors might think we are.... the kids are still up.... still up....

We've spent the entire day cleaning out 5 rooms (3 bedrooms, the "craft" or rather "catch-all" room and the playroom) plus the upstairs hallway. When I say cleaning out, I mean everything goes... to either the living room, kitchen, laundry room or outside... oh, or attic! Yes, everything! What a project!

We're getting carpet tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so excited... even if it was hard, tedious work. I can hardly wait... although I'm not looking forward to keeping three kids out of the house doing different things all day.... (some shopping and a doctor's appointment should help). Gabi gets to stay with Bob since she has swimming lessons in the middle of it all.

Anyway, at some point we'll sack the kids (and ourselves) out downstairs, to be up with the sun to make sure we're ready when the carpet and installers arrive! Until then, it's let the kids unwind and get really, really tired... I'm sure we'll be paying for this for days to come... but really, for carpet, I think it'll be worth it! :) (Pictures tomorrow!)

Faith - Peace - Sorrow

First can I just say that I've, in many ways, avoided blogging about this. It's not that I'm insensitive to the situations around me, but rather I felt I'd be doing an injustice to those who are most effected by it. As one whose mind never turns off, I am always full of thoughts, of questions, of insights usually left unshared. And in such, I have felt inadequate in my own ability to reach out to others - never really knowing what I should or shouldn't say or do. But with too many thoughts running around, I need to do this now.

As many of you who read this know, or have read from other blogs, a young girl is dying of cancer. When she was first diagnosed I remember a feeling of complete denial. I had just returned from visiting my mother, had only been home about an hour, when the phone call came. I didn't recognize Melissa's voice on the other end, and when she told me what was happening, I was in complete shock. All I could think of was "What? No, it was Jeremy who had the close scare. This can't be happening to my friend. It's not real."

For a period of time, we took care of the siblings while the initial tests, surgeries, and beginning chemo were run. All the while I was stealing myself, praying, and doing what I could to try to calm the noticeable fear in Kiara. She didn't know or understand what was happening. All she knew was that her family, at least for a time, had been pulled apart.

I recall when the news came that the tumor had burst. I was on my way to a dentist appointment, but collapsed on my deck in tears I'd yet to shed. Things looked bad. My emotions, kept in check to that point, were too much to deal with. Though I was not the mother involved, Savannah had been apart of my life since a couple months after her birth. She was like another daughter to me.

This was not my first encounter with cancer. But it was the first time the person I knew was so close to me. That night I sat, in the arms of my husband, and cried, asking all the questions there were no real answers to. I somehow figured he'd have the answers since he'd watched his brother die of cancer when they were boys. But such answers are not given or found so easily.

Not long after Savannah's diagnosis, we learned that my step-mother had breast cancer. I was already watching another dear friend go through this, so I had some idea of what would be happening. But my own emotions have swirled around in disbelief and lack of understanding as I started seeing the real world of cancer move in around me.

Eventually, though not willingly, acceptance rolled in. Hope showed its head as treatments appeared to be working. Remissions came and went. Some how it was all just the way it was. Part of life. But at least it was still life.

I'll admit that there have been issues that crept up which I have allowed to push me further away. As I mentioned before, I had a sense of inadequancy. I still do. Never knowing what to do or say. Never knowing if I should do or say anything.

As a seudo-writer, I find great healing in putting my words and feelings on paper. After learning about the tumor bursting nearly 3 years ago, I started to ask questions about what Scott was like and what it was like to watch him go through cancer. I began writing. A year later I finished a piece which I know was inspired by the Lord. Though it was written as a way for me to heal, a way to understand what was really happening, and though it was started because of a dear young girl's fight with cancer, I did not know then how close that story would really come to telling her story. I only knew it was one of the most touching stories I'd written... and one which I could not read very often for the tears it would bring.

Our family learned that the end was near for both Savannah and my step-mother around the same time. A double whammy. Something one does not want ever to hear. And though I still have not figured out how to do more than offer a hug, and a few tears, I have learned so much over the last year.

With my step-mother dying, I have had the opportunity to speak with my father indepth throughout the process. I've heard the pain, the wishing, the acceptance, the frustration, the lack of understanding, and the peace. I've learned to love beyond myself. Accepting another even when there has been history or anger to prevent it in the past. And I've learned to understand certain things which would likely make another cringe or think a person insensitive.

One such thing comes from the comments of "I wish she'd just die so she'd not be in pain". Understanding that it comes from love and not wanting to see the individual suffer any more helps. But more than that, hearing the words "I just want it to be over" makes all too much sense to me. One might see those words as hurtful, selfish, and as though a person did not value the sick individual. But having lived through and heard these words, I understand it has nothing to do with that at all.

There is the part of not wanting to watch a loved one suffer any more. That's a large part of it. But there also comes a point when one finally accepts there is nothing more that can be done. Nothing will make the person better. They will only suffer more. And it is God's will to have this person return home to Him. When you accept this, and when we've been told "two more weeks" or "two more months" or "this is the end" and yet the end continues to go on and on and on and on, you suffer in a whole new way.

It's hard enough to accept that death is coming. But when you've been given the time line, you brace yourself, and prepare for the end to come within that time frame. You have the opportunity to grieve, to accept, and to prepare. When it doesn't happen, there is nothing left to do. You wander in a stupor, waiting. Not knowing how to proceed with life. In fact, life seems to stand still. Though there are things happening, it's not the same. It's almost as if you're dead while living... just waiting... waiting.... waiting... not ever knowing... yet knowing it will happen.

Eventually you move on... living and feeling like things might continue. Then something else happens to remind you that the end is really only around the corner... you just don't know which corner that is.

Peace does not come easily to all. Understanding sometimes does not come at all in this life time. But knowing our Savior loves us, has died that we might all live again, brings comfort. Knowing that families are eternal, and that saving ordiances have been preformed makes it somehow easier to accept at the final stage.

But the thing I've been most fasinated with, have seen the most, and think that I've finally begun to understand is the role of faith in such situations. We've been taught that faith is a hope for things not seen that are true. That, I believe, is a very simplified explanation. A much more advanced definition, I believe, is that faith is accepting the Lord's will even when the answer is no and we do not understand. It is accepting that the Lord really does know best, although we often cannot see how in the moment.

I have seen such faith. I have seen the peace that seems to flow so naturally from such faith. I do not understand it. I don't think I ever will. For I could never imagine being in the situation of watching my own child or spouse die in such a painful and sad way. But I also know that such faith is needed in other situations within our lives; not just at trials involving death.

The words to a Janice Kapp Perry song "The Test" come to mind - the third verse, I believe:

Tell me love
Why must you die?
Why must your loved ones
Stand with empty arms
And ask the question why?

Tell me friend
If you understand
Why doesn't he with power
To raise the dead
Just make you whole again

It would be so easy for Him
I watch you and in sorrow question why
They you, my friend, in perfect faith reply

"Didn't He say He sent us to be tested?
Didn't He say the way would not be sure?
But didn't he say we could live with Him
Forever more, well and whole
If we but patiently endure
After the trial
We will be blessed
But this life
Is the Test"

Indeed, this life is the test. A test for each of us. And part of that test is learning to have perfect faith.

And for anyone who might not be able to grasp why, as Latter-Day Saints, we are able to fully accept what to the rest of the world is a tradgety, here's another poem - one used at the funeral of the brother-in-law I never met, and also used at the funeral for a cousin who also passed of cancer several years ago.

God's Child On Loan

"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," God said,
"For you to love while she lives
And mourn for when she's dead."

"It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call her back,
Take care of her for me?"

"She'll bring her charms to gladden you
And should her stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
To comfort you through grief."

"I cannot promise she will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."

"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds of this great land,
I have selected you."

"Now will you give her all your love
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take her back again?"

I'll leave you with a quote from my story, one which rings true and which speaks to the heart of the message:

"What love gives to life, Death can't undo"

Our Vacation Notes

Okay... have ya missed me? Okay, don't answer that... I might not like what you have to say... just humor me.

Jet lag is starting to wear off.... although the kids are still in the midst of testing the waters. What kid doesn't though?

Vacation was great (aside from me getting sick.... take a stressed out mom, add Dad to the mix and the body just shuts down.... more or less) The flight there stressed me out.. but it was so nice to be there finally!

The kids had a wonderful time getting to know and play with their cousins. Haley and Gabi really took over with great imaginations and lots if pool time. We even went to several places (sorry, I've not gone through the pictures yet).

Some favorites:

We hiked the kids about 5 or 6 miles (it wasn't suppose to be that long.... Bob planned the trip.... go figure) to find some old train tunnels. The tracks had long since been taken up and the Biz Johnson trail put in. It was hot and dusty, so when we finally came to the tunnels it was not only a great site, but it felt incredible! This was exciting for everyone (although especially so for Jeremy - our train man).

We went to Subway Caves (an old lava flow). It was neat to take the lanterns and hike with kids into the dark. We even gathered everyone around, turned off the lanterns and flashlights and showed the kids just how dark it was. It was neat to learn that while the lava was flowing the outer layer cooled much faster (makes sense) and the lava underneath continued to flow. That's what created such a neat "cave" to walk through! This was only one part of the volcano experiences for Gabi!

Fishing at Crater Lake (a true volcano crater which was then stocked with fish) was a lot of fun. All the kids (save the babies) caught fish... which we were able to actually eat a few days later! More fishing was done later in smaller groups with Bob, and that fish was turned into "fish sticks" which the kids really enjoyed!

There was obviously time to play in the river... where Bob and Adam spent some time working on the man-made damn.... making a slightly deeper swimming hole.. but only slightly! :)

Burney Falls was fun....although we didn't actually hike it this time (we did 4 years ago and it was great fun). We were able to see the large cascade of water... then headed over to the lake right there and let the kids play. Sandcastles were built... Bob threw his sister into the water.... boats raced by creating larger waves to play in... it was a nice way to cool off.

Later on, Bob took Gabi to hike Mt. Lassen... that was the volcano she'd been promised to climb. At first I was kind of hoping the whole family would go, but some how I realized Bob wasn't joking when he let us know that it was really not for younger kids. Gabi loved it... and really did hike the whole thing herself (with Bob beside her)! She doesn't have any sneakers now, since her feet had grown and with the rough hike she had wide open toes! They took some good pictures, so I was able to get a "virtual tour" of the hike. She was so excited that not only did she get to go up the volcano, but she also got to go into the crater at the top of the volcano. She even checked out the mud pots! (Boiling muddy holes... or so I understand)

Our family had a nice time going up Diamond Mountain.... where (after driving an hour or more) we came to the top. We were able to go up on a fire lookout and see an awesome view! Then headed out to the meadows where we played for a while before heading back down!

Back at Grandma's and Grandpa's, we were introduced to "Stomp Rockets!" If you've never heard of them before, check them out... just google it. They have a website so I'm sure you can pull it up. It was great to see everyone having a great time jumping on the bladder just as hard as they could to see who could go the farthest and who could keep it in the air the longest. The kids where laughing right along and got off some pretty good shots themselves!

We also got to do "guisers"..... take come diet coke, had some mentos, all while having a tube attached to the top and see the liquid shoot up really high. It doesn't last long, but it sure was fun.... especially watching the kids pull the string and run just as fast as they could to get out of the way of the spray!

Our family also made the trip down to Sacramento. There we met up with my sister and her family and went to the zoo. It wasn't too big, but considering how hot it was, that was okay. We did get to ride the "zoo train" which was (of course) a big deal for Jeremy!

We then headed over where the bulk of us met Aunt Colleen for the first time! She was such a neat woman.... I really enjoyed our visit with her!

The next morning we went to the Train Museum! This was what Jeremy had been looking forward to.... and although Gabi complained that she didn't want to go, she had a good time too! It was set up with all sorts of exhibits telling about the history of the trains, and of course, with several of the old retired trains. Many we were allowed to walk on and see what went on in them and how they were set up .... like the dining car, the sleeper car, the mail car..... and there was the "monster train".... that's my own title! It was designed to pull the cold cars over the Donner Pass... through lots of tunnels... both wooden built and rock blasted! It was huge! The the stairs was a whole section of toy trains.... with a wooden Thomas set up for the kids to actually play with (which was the cause of Jeremy running off by himself, tripping and falling head first into the corner of a display case... ouch.... the bump he had was horrible).

That afternoon we headed out to Fairytale Town....kind of like StoryLand, only the things were really just set up for climbing on... no rides or real activities. It was cute, for what it was, and the kids still had fun there.

We even took the kids to the Donner State Park... not that they were all that interested, but while we were in the area, hey, why not. And then we took them to Cabela's just to see all the stuffed wildlife there... they loved that!

Okay.... well that's our vacation in a nut shell.... I guess now we can move on to whatever comes up in the here and now! :)

Back..... With Jet Lag

Well we're back. I'd say that with more enthusiasm, but the idea of getting back to the grind of every day life isn't all that appealing. I'm suffering from jet lag... I knew it could be bad, but I had never experienced it like this before. So I'm just dragging. Bob doesn't have that luxury. He was back to work today.

We were very lucky... and blessed... a couple of friends tidied up and cleaned the main portion of our house! It was so nice to walk into the clean area... especially where we left it in worse condition then it normally is in on a daily basis! Thanks so much you guys! We've even, so far, been able to keep up with some of it. I'm hoping that turns into a habit that's easier kept than in the past.

Most of the unpacking is done, and I even got a couple loads of laundry done too... no sense letting that pile up again.... although I'll admit that I've not put it all away yet. Hopefully tomorrow!

I'm trying to pull my head back into the normal routine of bills, chores, calling, and whatever else lands on the plate. But more than that, I'm trying to take things one day at a time. A few months back I started having chest pains again. Severe chest pains. Bob gave me a blessing which more or less told me it was stress and that I needed to look at one day at a time and not look further. That's, of course, easier said than done. But now that the bulk of major planning with other people is done and out of the way, I'm determined to figure out how to focus one day at a time. (Looking only ahead for a little bit when absolutely necessary)

Being in California was a real treat. There were lots of people around so there were lots of people helping each other. But the best part was watching the kids get to know their relatives better. I know we came home the better for it. It was great to have these relationships strengthened!

Anyway, we did lots of fun things, but since I'm all jet lagged out, I'm not going to post anything about it now. I'll try to get to it next week..... (but we'll see.... we have carpet being installed in the middle of the week--I'm so excited--so we've got a lot of stuff to move out of most of the rooms to get ready)

Monkey Feet

Last week, when Aunt Marie and her family were still with us visiting Grandma and Grandpa Nielsen, there was a large can of fruit in need of eating! At one of the lunches, Aunt Marie came out, with the can turned in to herself, and asked if anyone wanted any "Monkey Feet"! Of course my children jumped in with the "not me's" and the "ughs!". But, when she turned the can around and they discovered, with laughter, that it was just pears, they joined in the fun.

Jeremy, in asking for more, insisted on continuing to call them Monkey Feet. ("Can I have another monkey feet, please").... Although Aunt Marie's family left on Saturday, and we've been doing a bit of traveling and site seeing the last several days, we arrived back tonight. I discovered there were more pears in the fridge and offered them to the kids along with thier dinner! Evidentally I used the wrong name! I asked if they wanted pears... Jeremy said "I want monkey feet!"

So, Aunt Marie, it seems Monkey Feet they are! (Thanks for the new name... Jeremy is truly having a great time with it)